What do Capri pants, a “Goonies” t-shirt, and Reebok running shoes coupled with a silk shirt have in common?
They will all put you in the finals for the team’s “Worst Dressed On The Road” award.
Now there was a time when the Montreal Alouettes weren’t known for being spiffed up on road trips. In fact, players and coaches alike embraced a casual approach to this matter. But who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
Actually… before I get carried away here, maybe you can’t.
The reasoning behind a dress code is simple: to have a team that looks as good off the field as it does on it. Some, however, would suggest that their teammates aren’t taking the recommendations seriously enough.
I’m not going to name names here, but I am willing to discuss selection protocol. We, as Canadians, live in a free and democratic society and the Montreal Alouettes are no different. At one point during the trip, when we are all corralled together via some type of mass transportation, nominations for the worst dressed award are submitted to the selection committee for consideration.
(Close your eyes and imagine a bus full of men shouting at one another and making people stand up for everyone to see)
Each nomination must be seconded by a like-thinking teammate or they will be thrown out and cannot by re-entered into that week’s vote.
The selection committee, which is eloquently chaired by Davis Sanchez (and again, when I say eloquently, I mean just a lot of shouting and finger pointing), carefully reviews and dissects all nominees before presenting that week’s top three worse dressed to this hostile mob for the official vote.
Each player receives one vote and the finalist receiving the most votes is crowned “Eyesore of the Week.” What should be done with the award recipients is still being discussed. Some have suggested taking their photos and creating a “wall of shame” in the dressing room. Others think the winning outfits should be put in glass cases in the clubhouse for all to see.
Regardless of what the official ramifications of the award are, believe me when I say that the jeering and laughter on the bus are lesson enough.
Don’t expect any repeat winners of this award!
