Friday, September 21, 2007 – 10:30AM
By Jack Bedell,
MontrealAlouettes.com
Okay, so I’ve taken a little heat over my “Date with a Super Model”
column last week. As you all know by now, the second date didn’t
exactly go as planned. In fact, my model stood me up in Edmonton – and
what’s worse, she sent the 400 lb. gorilla to meet me there!
The problem with dating the gorilla for the first time was not the
gorilla, per se, but the fact that everything I had planned was set up
for the model.
I’d brought along some flowers and chocolates, and was really hoping
for a scenic drive through Alberta with the top down and the wind
flowing through our hair on the way to some fine steak and maybe a
little dancing before the end of the evening.
The gorilla, though, wasn’t big on the chocolates; ate the flowers; and
wouldn’t stay in the car long enough to enjoy the Alberta countryside.
The dancing was over before I could get warmed up.
Since I’m not one to give up so easily, I’ve invited the primate to
Montreal for another chance Sunday. And this time, I hope to change the
itinerary quite a bit.
From my experience in Edmonton, I’ve learned I’ll need to do a few things differently to get the most out of the date.
You just can’t let the gorilla take over the date right at the onset,
because he’ll really make a mess of things and ruin the night before it
gets started, so I’m going to let the Als’ offence emcee the party for
the first 30 minutes.
Gorillas, it seems, need to be punched in the mouth, so I’ll be supplying a steady dose of Jarrett Payton right up the gut, too.
And since gorillas tend to be a little aggressive, I’m going to be a
little more defensive this go around. I figure it’s a good idea to
watch out for the big plays, so I’m going to leave it up to Matthieu
Proulx and the rest of the Als’ secondary to provide tighter coverage
on the backside.
It’s really all about limiting my own mistakes and maximizing my own
strengths if I want to have a good time with this gorilla. I figure if
things go well, he’ll put in a good word for me with the super model.
Or at least he’ll shave for our next date. . .
